A clarification

I promised Wears Many Hats to try to further explain my feelings about PNN. First, I appreciate highly the opportunity PNN has provided many to gather in a collective web space and get to know each other, whether virtually or, for many of us, later in person. I also came to PNN for two reasons, one was the suggestion of a potential writing gig advertised through craigslist—on that note I do feel duped. However, I have stayed for the sense of community that the “global water cooler for women” title suggested. I believe strongly that if a company hopes to benefit through niche marketing (in this case women and not the blogsphere), then that company needs to 'return the favor' as it were and provide members of that community opportunities to participate in decision-making situations that lead to serious results, ie: leadership roles. I was rather dismayed, once I took the time to do a bit of research (perhaps when I realized the job was a ruse) to find that the majority of the leadership (at least at that time) was male. It hurts me to think that a group that historically has been marginalized in the workplace, a group that continues to make less than three-quarters what their male counterparts do, that this group cannot even hope for an 'in' on a site that touts itself as 'for women."

That said, I have seen improvements. When there was an even that was to highlight a male speaker and a male book author and his book, I wrote to Leigh. Since that time, I have seen that the recent writing contest, the mug awards, and the sponsorship offers through the GNO and book club all push and support women--and that strikes me as right, as good, as a win-win for women, both on this site and throughout the world (particularly with the mugs).

On finding space here, I do think it can be hard for women to always find a space to gather and talk, particularly about work-related situations specific to women in a difficult economy, and that this space changes (for good, bad, or otherwise) when men enter. The best analogy I can offer was what participating in a Latina dissertation writing support group in grad school did for me and how that participation helped me to think through several issues in a safe space that I do not know that I would have had the same opportunity to explore (or at least not explore in the same way) had the group been open to all. Some of the issues we explored included: to use an editor (especially as for several English was not the strongest language), translation issues with informants (to provide the original, to provide a translation, to provide both), variations in Spanish in different areas, professors or classes to consider for different approaches to research--and I want to stress that even within an all Latina group, we did NOT agree on any of the above topics. BUT, I learned a huge amount and felt free to discuss somne issues I might not have discusssed had others outside our group been in on the conversation.

On that note, I do wonder (and I do not say there is a conclusive answer) about the participation of men, especially as two men I have noticed the most each were invovled, to varying degrees, in altercations amongst women of whom I care or in making hurtful statements to them. I felt they had changed the setting--whether that was due to individual personalities or to gender or to something in-between, I will not say as I believe such a determination is open to interpretation.

I do find humor (my own) in their lack of participation on the conversation regarding Carm the ladybug's recent plea for the arrival of her long-awaited period to strike. I honestly think had they joined that conversation, it might have limited the humor we all found in the long, very long, thread string. I also have very much appreciated the advice of Wears Many Hats for young wives and young mothers. I appreciate her advice deeply even though I fall into neither category. I am appreciative of the support I found in Writergrrl's book on conception--and I also felt quite good trying to support her wrtiing and her book (though with the deep discount she offered me I am quite certain I came out on top on that topic).

Regardless, many of us may disagree on this, and many will disagree with me. That is great! It is one of the benefits of having a site with so many different views. I read oodles and write a bit and I have more education than any sane person would ever pursue and am considering even more. All of this had led to really strongly held opinions that are sometimes well-informed but also sometimes wrong. When I read the pieces  by Lady Diva, I get so excited as she often hits a nerve and hits it hard regarding a group doubly marginalized in the US--Muslim women. Regardless, we disagree on guns and on subtle issues regarding hijab. If there were not this site, I could not explore my feelings, hear hers out, and, wonder of wonders and the best sign of great communication, change my mind as a result of said communication. So, lets hopefully all understand that the issue of support for women and their writing and the issue of a site for women versus a site about women are all subtle issues and we likely all bring different experiences, opinions, and thoughts to the issue and thus, we are not all likely to agree. That, my fellow women, is the beauty.